Watching Amy Webb’s TED talk (in which she details her online dating frustrations⎯until she got all her algorithms right), I was reminded of my own internet adventures before finally meeting my husband on Match in 2006. Prior to that, I spent five years having odd, incomprehensible, maddening, and deeply disheartening encounters like the one with Gary.
I’d like to blame this on a bunch of assholes, but that’s not the case. Aside from Gary (including him?), I mostly met good guys who acted badly. Sometimes I’d get an email from someone who was exasperated by my own flaky behavior. Apparently, I was just as careless! With no agreed-upon etiquette, all of us did what we could get away with, or we emulated others. If my loved ones currently in the digital dating world are any measure, things have gotten no better since I took myself off these sites.
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