Everyone Has An Opinion And It Takes No Guts To Be A Critic
Of course, you’ve heard it before – “opinions are like assholes, everyone has one.”
A part of life you can’t and won’t escape from is the opinions of others.
Everyone around you has the tools literally right at their fingertips to judge, be a critic, and share their opinion on anything and anyone they want.
It doesn’t take an act of bravery to say something negative about someone.
It doesn’t require guts to share your thoughts about how others are wrong and you’re right.
And what makes it worse is we now have the ability to do it anonymously the way a coward would.
Criticizing and Negativity Is Now A Part of Everyday Life
We now live in a more negative world/society thanks to reality TV whose ratings are boosted by negativity and opinions, the internet where everyone can speak their mind regardless of how ignorant it may be, and social and emotional intelligence being taught less and less by parents and leaders.
There’s no standard anymore for what’s allowed on TV – even on channels and programming for kids.
The more negative, opinionated, and judgmental it is, the higher the ratings are and producers say “let’s show more of that stuff”.
It’s becoming the “norm” and leading us to believe that being negative, judgmental, and criticizing is a normal and acceptable thing.
But it shouldn’t be.
Why The Hell Do We Care So Much Anyway What Women And Others Think About Us?
It’s only natural to want to be liked and for women and others to say, “Wow, I really like that guy! He’s great!”
It’s an awesome feeling to know that everyone thinks you’re a “cool” guy.
Something I learned a while back and I think makes a lot of sense is we want to be “liked” and we want to “fit in” because many years ago before we lived in today’s awesome society filled with nice homes, cars, and technology, we lived in tribes/smaller groups where we were surrounded by serious danger.
If we were “cool”, people liked us, and we “fit in” to the tribe, we were less likely to be harmed or killed from outside “dangers” such as the climate, wild animals, and other tribes who wanted to kill us.
Our chances of survival went up dramatically by being “accepted” by others and being part of a group.
If we were rejected by the tribe or group, we were “left out” and left to fend for ourselves against the climate, crazy ass animals, and other tribes who wanted our head on the tip of a spear, to use our eye sockets for chip dip, or to use our empty cranium as a bowl to eat cereal out of.
BUT today, it’s pretty easy to survive on our own and be protected from the “elements” without having to “fit in” a group.
Advancements in technology has everything MUCH easier for us and eliminated much of our problems.
But here’s one problem it hasn’t eliminated yet – your fear of people “not liking you”.
It might have been extremely useful thousands of years ago to always want to fit in so you wouldn’t die an insanely painful death, but it’s not really useful today.
And in theory, we’re still born with this survival “mindset”.
It’s something that we need to consciously “turn off” in order to stop caring what others think and to stop caring about others “liking” us.
Caring What She Thinks Never Works The Way You Think It Does
I’ve learned from experience and from some very wise friends that when you WANT someone to “like” you – they usually don’t.
It’s one of those things, like many things in life, that just doesn’t work the way it seems it should work.
When you go out of your way to be liked, it will backfire on you every single time.
When you care what women and others think, it shows in your eyes, on your face, in your body language, in the way you move, and in the way you speak.
It’s impossible to hide.
And when that woman you like sees this, she’s going to automatically assume there’s something fishy going on with you and you’re not that “cool” of a guy.
Caring what others think, always wanting to impress, and being too careful not to offend anyone will have the opposite effect as intended.
It will cause women and those around you to like you even LESS rather than liking you more.
So you’re much better off not caring what women or others think.
Your chances of women feeling attraction for you will be much higher.
Why It’s Important to Stop Caring What She and Others Think
Ever noticed that the guys who simply don’t give a shit seem to be well-liked by MANY people?
Don’t believe me?
Look at Mark Wahlberg, Jack Nicholson, James Dean, Colin Farrell, Robert Downey Jr, Steve McQueen, Daniel Craig, Charlie Sheen, Jason Statham, Kurt Cobain, Brad Pitt, Adam Levine, Shia LaBeouf, Will Smith, etc.
PEOPLE LIKE THESE GUYS- but these guys themselves have never cared if anyone likes them or not!
People like them because they don’t care if people like them.
They don’t give off the impression that they WANT people to like and approve of them – if they did, they wouldn’t be as well liked as they are today.
As for your dating life, women notice from MILES away when you’re the type of guy who wants to be “liked”.
They notice when you care too much what others think and when you need approval.
They smell it on you like you haven’t taken a shower in a week.
You can’t hide it.
It will kill any attraction she’s feeling for you FAST and it’s one of the hardest things to overcome.
Everyone Is Too Focused On Themselves To Be Judging You Or Thinking About You
“You’ll worry less about what people think about you when you realize how seldom they do.” — David Foster Wallace
We now live in a “self-absorbed” society and with Facebook and other social networks giving everyone the power to be an “expert” and critic, to be vain, and to think they’re the hottest thing walking the earth, they’re all too busy doing their own thing rather than thinking about you and judging you.
They’re not taking time out of their “busy” schedule to make fun of you or talk trash about you.
Their mind is buried in Facebook, in their phone, or they’re glued to a TV.
I believe this because I’ve noticed that our society is more self-centered and self-indulged than ever before and most people are occupied being in love with themselves, taking selfies, posting “deep thoughts” and “opinions” on Twitter and YouTube, and trying to buy things they don’t need to imitate celebrities and to impress people they don’t care about.
So as sad as THAT sounds, breathe a sigh of relief knowing that most women and other people aren’t sitting around thinking about you and judging you.
They’re too busy doing their own thing.
We pretty much live in an “out of sight, out of mind” society now.
Caring What You Think Is Probably Having A Negative Effect On Your Social and Dating Life
I can bet ALL my money right now that if you’re always caring what women and your friends are thinking about you, then you probably don’t have many of either.
When you care too much what women are thinking of you, you’re going to have a hard time getting them to stick around.
When you’re caring how much your friends like you and how “cool” they think you are, I promise you that they don’t consider you a really “good” friend.
They probably just hang out with you or invite you out just to be cool, but they’re not about to invite you to go on vacation or spring break with them.
They think you’re “alright”, but definitely not one of the “coolest guys” they know.
It hurts to hear it.
But it’s true and I’ve seen it a million times with my own eyes.
Stop posting things on Facebook to get a reaction or to get “likes” from people.
It takes NO CAPACITY to be scrolling through a news feed and to tap a little thumbs up icon.
A thumbs up doesn’t mean anyone likes YOU – it means your little post entertained their overcrowded and over stimulated brain for 2 seconds.
They’re not thinking, “man this guy Henry is the coolest guy ever because of that post!”
They can care less about you and your post of a goat screaming to Taylor Swift’s song.
They can care less about your meme of woman washing dishes and it says, “OH LOOK. THAT SANDWICH MAKER IS ALSO A DISHWASHER.”
If it’s funny and you just want to share it so others can get a laugh or learn something from it, great. BUT, don’t post things on FB, Twitter, etc. to get people to like you and think you’re cool.
You’ll just be doing yourself a huge injustice.
Don’t give yourself a false sense of approval or belonging.
So now that I’m done with my ranting, here’s 29 helpful tips and things you can do to stop caring so much what women and other people think about you.
1. Understand EVERYONE Has “Haters” and It’s Impossible For Everyone to Like You
If you’re out to make everyone like you, you’re only going to be pissing in the wind and thinking it’s rain.
Not a single person has EVER lived that was capable of getting everyone to like them.
They tried to do good and be good people, but even they had “haters”.
Accept the idea that not everyone is going to like you – even if you have done everything perfect.
Some people just like hitting that “thumbs down button” for no reason other than it feels good to think they’re better or above others.
When you notice someone doesn’t like you and you’re clueless as to why, just tell yourself that it’s going to be “OK” and you’ll be just fine.
Think of it this way:
- 25% of everyone you meet won’t like you and they’ll never change their mind about it.
- 25% of everyone you meet won’t like you but it’s possible to change their mind.
- 25% of everyone you meet WILL like you but can have their mind changed about it.
- 25% of everyone you meet WILL like you no matter what and they’re not going to change their mind about it.
If you plant the idea in your mind that it’s “inevitable” that not everyone will like you and there’s nothing you can do about it, you’ll be more at peace with yourself when you notice someone isn’t a big fan of you.
2. Accept What Women Think of You Is None of Your Business and Has Nothing to Do With Attraction
A few years back, a friend of mine made a comment about something she heard: “It’s none of my business what anyone thinks about me”.
This statement couldn’t be more true.
What does it matter what anyone thinks of you?
Are her thoughts taking your freedom away?
Are her thoughts physically hurting you?
Are her thoughts going to cause lightning to come out of the sky and strike you dead?
Are her thoughts going to influence every single person in the world not to like you?
I doubt it.
Plus, in a strange twist, what she THINKS of you doesn’t affect the attraction she might feel for you.
I’ve had more than enough women tell me I’m a jerk, I’m mean, cold hearted, abrasive, insensitive, etc. yet they still wanted to be my girlfriend and didn’t want to leave my side.
How the hell does that work?
It doesn’t make logical sense.
On the other side of the same coin, I’ve dated women who I didn’t like much as a person yet I was still insanely attracted to them and wanted them as more than a friend.
Simple, empty, and poorly put together thoughts and judgments about you will never outweigh the massive effects of attraction.
If she’s feeling lots of attraction for you, who cares what she thinks of you?
She may think you’re nerdy and a dork but if she’s feeling attraction, she’ll still want you as more than a friend, REGARDLESS of what she thinks.
3. Understand Life Is Short and It’s YOUR Life
Wouldn’t it be such a waste if you spent your ENTIRE LIFE unhappy, unsatisfied, and unfulfilled because you were worried about what everyone else thought of you?
Would the anxiety of caring what women and others think be worth the loss of enjoying yourself and really finding true happiness and “inner” peace?
When you can’t stop being self-conscious and turn your cares “off” about others judging you and having “opinions” about you, you’ll just be battling yourself non-stop and wasting tons of energy that you could be using for something more productive and positive.
So instead of wasting your energy worrying what others think, just enjoy your life and let others think what they’re going to think.
You’re not going to stop them from doing so anyways.
You don’t want to wind up being 80 years old, staring out of a window, pondering on your life, and wondering what you could have done differently to make it more enjoyable.
When you’re there, staring out of that window, find comfort in knowing that you lived on your terms and not by the terms of others.
You’ll be happy that you didn’t allow others to run your life by caring what they think.
4. Clear Your Mind, Turn Your Brain Off, and Relax
I’ve not noticed that we all have something similar happening in our minds and bodies when we care too much what others think – we can’t turn our brain off, relax, and just enjoy our day or moment.
The gears are ALWAYS turning much faster than necessary and we’re not present with whatever we’re doing.
Our mind is always somewhere else completely rather than just enjoying the moment of wherever we’re at and what we’re doing.
We’re thinking things like:
How do I look?
Are people looking at me?
Are they judging me?
Did they see my crappy car I drove up in?
Do I have something on my face?
Is my hair messed up?
Am I impressing anyone?
Has anyone noticed my cool faces I make when I’m looking into the distance?
Turn your brain off.
Kill the motor.
Keep all those thoughts at home and don’t bring them with you.
Wherever you’re at and whatever you’re doing, just be cool, relax, and enjoy the moment.
- Don’t worry about the outcome of ANYTHING. Ever.
- Don’t be thinking about next week or tomorrow.
- Don’t be thinking about if she’s going to come home with you.
- Don’t be thinking about where you’re going to take her next week.
Just clear your mind of all that stuff and enjoy the moment.
It requires some practice but with time, the ability to turn your brain off, relax, and not care what anyone thinks will become second nature.
“Don’t worry about outcome.” – Bruce Lee
5. Avoid Filling Your Mind With Junk and Hanging Around People Who Care What Others Think
“As you think, so shall you become.” – Bruce Lee
You will become what you put into your mind.
You will become what you surround yourself with.
Your brain is like a sponge, soaking up EVERYTHING you subject yourself to – TV, Internet, friends, family, books, etc.
You program your mind with everything you take in and whatever you allow your brain to “soaks up” with either make you smarter or stupider.
- It will either make constructive or destructive.
- It will make you productive or lazy.
- It will poison your mind or it will nourish it.
- It will make you a positive person or a negative person.
And it’s not possible to filter what’s coming into your mind – even if you try your hardest.
Your brain is a data collecting supercomputer and you can’t just shut it off or choose when and how it works.
When you fill your mind with junk and you allow your brain to “soak up” useless and worthless information, as is often found in abundance on Facebook, you’re programming your mind with that stuff and in turn, you will become a product of that “worthless” information.
This will affect your thinking, behavior, and habits and the more you feed your brain junk, the worse everything will get.
If you hang out around people who care what others think, you’ll become the same way.
6. Use Criticism to Learn, Grow, and Become a Better Man
There’s often a grain of truth to any criticism or judgmental comments directed towards you.
The man who grows, changes, and evolves into the best version of himself is the man who’s able to look in the mirror, accept this truth, make it his mission to do better and become better.
Don’t view criticism as a personal attack or as a sign that no one likes you.
Don’t get defensive and start blaming others for your own mishaps.
It’s wise to say to yourself, “Ok. What is it I’m doing to make this person say this or think this about me and is there possibly any truth to it? What can I do better in the future to avoid anyone having this negative perception of me?”
It’s a very mature and responsible way to handle judgments and criticism rather than getting mad, storming off, and thinking everyone around you is out of their mind and you’re the only normal one.
When you really listen to criticism, you’re able to find your quirks and find the cracks that are making you weak as a man.
When you leave a crack unfixed or you ignore it, it’ll keep growing, become much worse, and cause a lot of problems in your life.
When I was an aircraft mechanic, when we found a crack on the structure of an aircraft, we had to repair it. If it was ignored, the crack would grow in size and parts would shatter, weaken the frame of the aircraft, and you have a gaping hole in the aircraft and people are dying.
So listen to, respect, and accept criticism and really determine whether someone is finding your weak spots and figure out what you can do to repair those weak areas so you can become the best version of yourself possible.
7. Figure Out and Prioritize What Truly Matters to You
When you’re focused on what’s really important to you, you don’t have time to pay attention to or even notice what women or others think of you.
Your capacity to take everything in at once is pretty limited and it’s important to stay focused on your path in life, your purpose for being here, and how you’re spending your time being productive and making a difference in your life.
So if you’re spending time worried about what women and those around you are thinking of you, then you don’t have enough going on in your life.
Find your priorities and sharpen your focus on them. That’s where your true sense of happiness and accomplishment comes in.
That’s where you start to feel fulfilled and you simply stop caring what others are saying or thinking about you.
- You’re doing what you love.
- You’re doing what’s important.
- You’re doing what you believe is going to benefit you in your life.
- You’re doing what is making you feel like the best version of yourself.
When you’re operating on that wavelength and waking up feeling satisfied with yourself, nothing else matters and women’s opinions of you become so small that you don’t notice them.
8. Work on Your Self-Worth and Value as a Man
When you feel worthy and happy with yourself, you simply don’t give a damn what women or those around you are thinking.
You’re doing your own thing, you’re feeling good, and they can take their opinion somewhere else to someone who actually cares.
When you feel valuable and you know your value as a man, nothing will bring you down, stop you in your tracks, or make you second guess what you’re doing.
The sureness that you’re doing the right thing gives you a comfort that no one can take away from you with an opinion.
So if you’re not feeling worthy enough or valuable enough as a man, work on it.
- Workout and get in better shape.
- Get a higher paying job.
- Save more money.
- Clean your house, car, room so you feel like a proud owner.
- Get some nicer clothes.
- Educate yourself in the areas you want to be educated in.
- Build yourself up in the areas where you’re feeling weak.
- Get more sleep so you feel better.
- Push yourself harder to make things happen.
- Get rid of friends who drag you down.
- Stop filling your head with worthless information and stop hanging around people who don’t make you better.
- Work on your dating skills and build some great friendships with some great women.
Do whatever it takes to start feeling more confident, worthy, and valuable as a man.
When you do, you’ll naturally stop caring so much what others think of you and you’ll stop feeling the need to impress everyone around you – especially women.
It’ll be easier to just “be yourself” around women and not care what anyone thinks or says about it.
9. Develop and Work on Your IDGAF Mindset
When I cared way too much of what others thought about me, I started telling myself that “I don’t care”.
I’d feel the anxiety that comes with caring what women and others think, and I’d say over and over to myself, “I don’t care. I don’t care. I just don’t care”.
In fact, I said it so many times that it started changing my mindset – I truly did quit caring what people thought of me.
It changed my unconscious thinking.
When you say something enough times, you unconsciously believe it.
The more you say it and think it, the deeper it will become ingrained in your mind and the more powerful that belief will become.
So when you’re feeling that anxiety and nervousness come up, simply keep telling yourself, “You know what, I don’t care. I don’t care. I don’t care…”
The more you do it, the easier it will become, and the more you’ll start automatically thinking it instead of having to consciously say it.
Not caring what women and others think will truly become second nature.
10. Become More Dominant
“Care about what other people think and you will always be their prisoner.” – Lao Tzu
Dominant men don’t care what people think.
I don’t mean dominant in the sense of bossing people around or being a bully.
In my eBook 99 Bad Boy Traits That Instantly Attract Women I explain that I believe being dominant is being dominant over YOURSELF and not accepting second class behavior from yourself or those around you.
It’s holding yourself up to a higher standard and being the version of yourself that you know you are capable of being.
When you are dominant, you are in charge of yourself and your behavior.
You’re also responsible for others are going to behave around you and treat you.
When someone says or does something that is unacceptable, you stop them right then and there and say, “Hey, I don’t like that stuff. Please don’t do that.”
When you do or say something that you know is unacceptable, you tell yourself, “Hey, not cool. You’re better than that.”
When you’re in control of yourself, caring what others think isn’t your main focus.
It isn’t important.
You’re making the rules for yourself and what you will and won’t allow in your life and dominant men usually don’t care too much what opinions others have of them.
Don’t be submissive by letting someone’s opinion of you dominate you.
Don’t let anyone have that power over you.
Only you have control over your thoughts, behavior, actions, and habits.
Don’t give that power away to someone because they are judging you or have an opinion of you.
11. Raise Your Standards
With high standards, you are setting the standard for what you are and aren’t cool with.
You hold yourself accountable and hold yourself to up to certain degree of behavior that you deem acceptable.
Someone’s thought or opinion shouldn’t change that standard.
It shouldn’t have the power to affect you mentally.
When you’re lacking standards, the opinions of women and others cause you to think you’re doing everything wrong and you start to doubt yourself, question yourself, and possibly move in a direction that’s the opposite of where you should be going.
Standards keep you headed in the right direction.
Standards keep you moving forward.
Standards keep your quality of life at the level you desire.
Standards preserve your peace of mind and sense of happiness.
12. Practice Controlling Your Emotions and Your “Feelings”
I’ve noticed it’s easier to be affected by what women and others are thinking of you when you’re not in control of your emotions and “feelings”.
Instead of controlling their emotions, a lot of men allow their emotions to control THEM and influence their thinking, behavior, habits, and “feelings”.
Your emotions are so powerful that they will slap you around and keep you from being happy if you allow them to and what’s important is to recognize when your emotions are about to hijack your logical thinking and rational decision making.
It’s important to keep your emotions at bay and cultivate the ability to pause, breathe, and get yourself together when you’re noticing that your emotions are starting to overwhelm you.
When someone judges you or you’re getting anxiety over what she thinks, just stop what you’re doing, take a quick time out, pull yourself together, let your emotions “die down”, and then go back to what you were doing.
Don’t let what others think of you cause you to get emotionally out of whack.
Don’t let what women think of you cause you to become overwhelmed by “feelings”.
Just tell yourself, “I don’t care” and let the emotions pass.
Never act or make decisions when you’re flooded with emotions.
Tell yourself, “It’s just emotions coming up. I’ll be ok. It’s natural and I’m in control here. My emotions aren’t in control. I’m going to be cool, relax, and focus back on what I was doing.”
13. Toughen Up Mentally and Have Thicker Skin
Something else I’ve noticed is that when you’re emotionally weak, it’s easier to get beat down by the anxiety of what women and others think of you.
When you’re “thin skinned”, it’s like having a fortress with walls made from sticks or straw.
It’s easier for the judgments and opinions of others to penetrate your boundaries and mess you up mentally.
You’ll learn a lot about boundaries in my eBook How to Quit Being a Loser With Women.
- Quit being a wuss.
- Quit running to mom when someone hurts your feelings.
- Quit making excuses.
- Quit blaming your misfortune on others.
- Quit blaming others for you not being able “suck it up” and be a man about it.
About 99% of what happens, good or bad, is YOUR FAULT and deep down you know it – whether you want to admit it or not.
99% is within your control.
Take some responsibility for your actions and your life.
When something happens that really sucks, suck it up, be a man about it, and rest assured that you’ll get through it.
Allow it to be a learning and growing experience.
Allow it to make you tougher.
Allow it to make you stronger.
The more life knocks you down, the easier it will be to get back up and keep going under your own power.
The stronger and tougher you become, the less you’ll be affected by what women and others think about you.
14. Don’t Look Around At Others For Clues On How to Live Your Life
Don’t be the guy who copies all his friends and does what they’re doing because he thinks it’s “cool”.
Don’t go down a certain path in life because your friends are doing it.
- Create your own path.
- Have your own thoughts.
- Have your own ambitions.
- Do what you’re doing because you love it and you don’t care what others think about it.
- Dig deep within yourself and find what you’re great at and do it because YOU WANT TO.
- Live your life on YOUR TERMS.
When you wake up each and every day with this powerful mindset, you won’t give a damn what others think and say about you.
In fact, you won’t even give it a second of your time because you’re absolutely sure you’re doing what you know is best.
15. Change Your Beliefs About Yourself
If you don’t believe in yourself wholeheartedly, the opinions and judgments of others are going to penetrate your soul and rattle your core.
Beliefs are simply thoughts backed up by a ton of powerful energy.
Beliefs are thoughts that you guard and hold onto with all of your might.
Change your beliefs about yourself and you’ll notice yourself not caring so much what others think.
Eliminate your negative beliefs and reinforce yourself with positive, uplifting, and powerful beliefs about yourself.
When you believe you are strong, capable, and on the right track, rather than just thinking it, you won’t be affected by anyone’s thoughts or opinion of you.
Your beliefs and your perspective create your reality and you can change your perspective and reality by changing your beliefs about yourself.
16. Work on Becoming Happier
If you’re not happy or at least content with yourself, you are opening the door and inviting negativity into your life.
And when you’re not as happy as you could be, you’re more “open” to caring what those around you think of you.
Your boundaries are weaker.
You’re easier to influence into thinking, “Well maybe they’re right. Maybe I’m not that good at this or that. Maybe I really am not that smart. Maybe I really am not that likable of a person.”
I say f*** that.
Don’t allow anyone to plant those thoughts into your mind.
Don’t allow those thoughts to grow.
Work on becoming happier by building yourself up, developing standards, improving yourself, and finding things that you really enjoy doing.
Focus on yourself and your happiness FIRST before you focus on others and what their opinions of you are.
17. Build Your Confidence and Self-Esteem
Confidence and high self-esteem will also help you not care what women and others think about you.
When you’re feeling confident, you’re sure of yourself and feeling like you can take on the world.
When you have high self-esteem, you’re feeling good about yourself and no one can belittle you or make you feel smaller.
Working on these two areas of your life are going to lead to more happiness, fulfillment, and sense of security.
It’s building a wall around your happiness that is impenetrable by the thoughts and opinions of others.
18. Stop Feeling the Need to Look Good or Impress Her
A lot of us have a deeply rooted “need” to impress her and to show her we’re “better” or more worthy of her time.
It’s almost as if we’ll die if we’re not able to communicate this to her.
Truth be told, the best way to impress women and those around you is to not try to impress them at all.
The guy who has a “look at me” attitude usually gets judged and criticized much more than the guy who doesn’t care what anyone is thinking or saying about him.
Get rid of the “look at me” attitude and thought process.
Just be cool, relax, enjoy yourself, and don’t worry about what anyone is thinking or saying about you.
19. Avoid What Triggers Your Need For Validation – Like Social Media, Co-workers, or Friends
I’ve been saying it for a while and I’m going to say it again – social media brings out your need for approval and if you had a problem with it before, you REALLY have a problem with it now.
Platforms like Facebook make it stupid easy to get people to notice you.
Take a selfie, put some “deep” thought, and people are “liking” your “expression” of yourself.
You now have the tools to take a bad habit and make it so bad that it’s going to require serious therapy and help to get rid of.
Facebook and other social media platforms take your need for validation, to be “accepted”, and “approved of” and multiply it x 100!
I honestly believe it’s screwing up the brains of a lot of young people, stealing their happiness with themselves, and reinforcing bad habits that aren’t psychologically healthy or beneficial.
So if you REALLY care about what people think, try to get away from what “triggers” your need for approval.
Get rid of your “I want to show this off to my friends” or “I want to show everyone how awesome I am” mindset.
Be happy without the approval of people you don’t really like and that you don’t really care about.
Don’t try to earn cool points with someone you think is better than you or someone that you know doesn’t like you much.
Avoid those situations.
20. Get Out of Reactive Mode
Something that has really helped me in my life to stop caring what women and others think is learning the difference between reacting and responding.
It takes no real capacity to react to something.
Reacting is behaving spontaneously and your behavior is automatic and unconscious.
You’re not even aware of what you did until it was done.
That doesn’t give you much control.
When you respond, you’re taking a few seconds to actually think about what it is you’re about to say and do.
You’re not just behaving automatically and unconsciously – you’re taking a second to stop, think about it, and then behave in the manner you think is best.
You’re in control of one and not the other.
So when someone has an opinion of you, judges you, or says something really dumb about you, YOU CAN CHOOSE to either react and get bent out of shape OR you can take a second to think about it, remain cool about it, be the more mature person.
The more you cultivate the ability to respond instead of react, the easier it will be to not get bent out shape over someone’s opinion.
21. Stop Asking Others for Their Opinion
It’s pretty obvious that you should stop asking for the opinions of others if you want to stop caring about what they think.
“So what do you think about my ____?”
“What’s your opinion on my ____?”
“What do you think about me?”
Or any questions you are using to draw out the opinions of women and others.
When you truly don’t care what anyone thinks, you won’t need to ask them for their opinion, thoughts, or judgments on anything.
Don’t communicate that you care about what anyone thinks.
When you say things like, “Nah I don’t care. I’m just curious” – you really do care.
Why else would you be asking?
22. Stop Seeking Reactions
Getting a positive reaction from someone we like makes us feel good and it makes us want to get more of those reactions.
We want to KNOW that a woman we like thinks we’re pretty cool.
Don’t worry about that.
Don’t worry about trying to get a reaction out of her and causing her to react the way you’re imagining in your mind.
When you don’t care what she thinks, you don’t have the need to reaction seek and do things to get her to respond favorably to you.
When you’re constantly trying to get a reaction and look like a great guy, it’s a sign that you have too much invested in what she and others think of you.
23. Find Your Path and Purpose In Life
As I mentioned earlier, when you are on your path in life and you’re doing what you honestly believe you’re supposed to be doing, the last thing you’re worried about is what anyone is thinking of you.
Your mind is so occupied with reaching the next level and reaching goals that something as little as someone’s opinion of you isn’t important enough to catch your attention.
When you have your priorities straight and you’re focused, driven, and happy, the only opinion that will matter to you is yours.
Your opinion is the only thing that will change what you have going on.
When you’re on your path and living your purpose, any thoughts, opinions, or judgments of you that aren’t your own simply don’t matter or show up on your radar.
24. Stay Busy On Your Goals, Dreams, Aspirations and Work Towards Them
When you’re on your path and living your purpose, your mind is full of goals, dreams, aspirations, and plans.
- You dream of what you want
- You figure out what goals you want to reach first
- You start figuring out and formulating a plan to reach those goals
- You figure out the next step and the next goal
- You make a plan and take action to reach that goal
And you continue doing this until you get to where you want to be
When this process is loaded up in your mind and you’re executing your plans every single day, you simply don’t have the time or energy to entertain what someone is thinking of you.
You don’t have the desire to even give someone’s opinion of you space in your mind.
When you’re busy working your ass off to make your life better, you simply don’t have the time or desire to care what anyone thinks.
Simple as that.
And if you do catch yourself caring, then it means you need to believe in yourself more, work harder, and become busier.
Once you’re in your routine, you’ll notice that you naturally don’t care anymore what anyone says or thinks.
25. Become Friends With Guys Who Don’t Care What Anyone Thinks
Remember how I said your brain is like a sponge and it soaks up data and information from all around you?
The same is true when you’re friends with guys who simply don’t care what anyone thinks.
Their attitude and care free demeanor will rub off on you and before you know it, you’re thinking and behaving just like them.
This is good.
You become just like those you spend a lot of time with.
So if you want to save some time and effort on your way to not caring what anyone thinks, become friends with a guy who lets the opinions and judgements and others simply bounce off of him.
26. Go Places ALONE And Escape Your Comfort Zone
I used to find it impossible and terrifying to go to bars, clubs, or other social events alone because I had this fear that people would be looking at me, laughing, making jokes, and saying things like, “Look at that loser sitting all by himself.”
But that changed for me when a friend of mine told me, “Dude, nobody gives a shit. They’re not focused on what you’re doing. And if they notice you, they’ll think, ‘There’s a guy sitting by himself’ and THAT’S IT. They’re not going to go out of their way to make fun of you.”
And I thought, “He’s right.”
So I went out, went to a bar, sat there for hours, watched the game, drank a beer, and played with my phone a little.
Guess what happened?
Everyone was too busy to notice I was sitting there and if they did notice, I was just a guy sitting there drinking a beer.
After that, I became comfortable going to a bar alone and having a drink.
In fact, I actually enjoy it now because I can just sit there, have a drink, think, and appreciate my moment of solitude.
I highly recommend you do the same if you’re terrified of going places alone.
It will help you grow as a man and expand your comfort zone.
27. Embarrass Yourself On Purpose
There’s a story that the actor Will Farrell used to be shy and afraid of being embarrassed and of what others thought about him.
“I always just forced myself to do crazy things in public. In college I would push an overhead projector across campus with my pants just low enough to show my butt. Then my friend would incite the crowd to be like, “Look at that idiot!” That’s how I got over being shy.”
And what happened?
If you’ve seen his movies, you know the rest is history.
I used to be a band promoter and I was wearing a “wife beater” muscle shirt ALL DAY in the sun at a Warped Tour event.
I got sunburned like crazy!
But only where the shirt wasn’t covering of course.
So I took the shirt off when walked around looking like I had on an invisible shirt and people pointed, laughed, and said “ouch” for me because they knew I was going to be hurting later on.
Yes I was embarrassed, yes I wanted to put my shirt back on, but I thought, “you know what, I’m going to embarrass myself so I can grow and not care so much what anyone thinks”.
I look like a moron in the photos but who cares?
I’d do it 100 more times if it means I’ll grow from it.
Have the same mindset.
28. Get Rejected Deliberately
I also used to be terrified of getting rejected by women.
I felt that if I got rejected, that people would point, laugh, and I’d feel like a big dork and a loser.
So knowing I had to get over this “bullshit” mindset, I deliberately went out several weekends in a row and had a competition with my buddy to see who could get rejected the most.
Knowing that I was getting rejected on purpose seemed to dull the pain and embarrassment and after 20 – 30 times, it no longer bothered me.
It felt the same as a “no thank you” when you ask someone if they want something.
It felt harmless.
When you have a fear of rejection, it’s because deep down you care too much what women could possibly think of you.
Simple as that.
When you don’t care what they think, you’ll take rejection in stride, walk away, and forget about it 2 seconds later.
29. Gain Experience With Women
The more experience you have with women and the more you understand them, the less you’ll care what they think about you.
It’s just a natural process.
You’ll know what to do, how to do it, and it anyone’s opinion of you simply won’t matter because you know what you’re doing and how to get the result you want.
Your fears, anxiety, and worries will start to go away and it will all be replaced with confidence, high self-esteem, and a sureness that no one can take from you.
Let’s Recap To Make Sure You Got It
1. Everyone has an opinion about someone or something
2. It takes no guts or capacity for anyone to be a critic
3. Criticizing and negativity is everywhere around you
4. You care what people think because it’s a survival mechanism that is not really needed anymore today
5. Caring what women and others think doesn’t work the way you think it does
6. When you don’t care what others think, people like you more
7. Everyone is too focused on themselves and they don’t spend as much time judging you or having an opinion of as much as you think they do
8. Caring what others think is having a negative effect on your social and dating life
9. Everyone has “haters” and it’s impossible for everyone to like you
10. It’s none of your business what people think of you
11. It’s YOUR LIFE and life is too short to spend your time caring what others think
12. Clear your mind, turn your brain off, and relax
13. Be careful of what you put into your mind on a daily basis
14. View criticism as a chance to learn, grow, and become a better man
15. Figure out and prioritize what really matters to you
16. Work on your self-worth and value
17. Work on your “I don’t give a f***” mindset
18. Become more dominant and less submissive
19. Raise your standards
20. Practice controlling your emotions and your “feelings”
21. Become tougher mentally
22. Don’t look around at others for clues on how you should live your life
23. Change your beliefs about yourself
24. Work on becoming happier
25. Build up your confidence and your self-esteem
26. Stop feeling the need to look good or impress anyone
27. Stay away from things that trigger your need for approval or validation – like Facebook
28. Learn to respond instead of react
29. Stop asking others for their opinion
30. Stop trying to get reactions out of women
31. Find your path and purpose in life and stick to it
32. Find your dreams, goals, aspirations and work towards them every single day
33. Become good friends with guys who don’t care what anyone thinks
34. Go places alone and escape your comfort zone
35. Embarrass yourself on purpose
36. Deliberately get rejected
37. Get as much experience with women as you can
Caring what women and others think is sucking the life out of you, killing your motivation, and keeping you locked in a cell built by the worthless opinions of others. It’s time to free yourself, live your life on your terms, and enjoy the happiness you deserve. The only opinion that should EVER matter is yours.
Thanks for reading.
How To Stop Caring What People Think About You By This Weird Looking Dude Leo
The post 29 Ways to Stop Caring What Women and Others Think About You appeared in Major League Dating.